Dear Diary (by Liz)
by italianangel38
Summary: Liz breaks it off with Max, telling herself it's for good this time. Is it true is it the end of Max and Liz?.....ah probably not. Please read and review for me. *Complete* Max & everyone find out Liz is dying....
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I own no one. I'm not sure the timing is right but it's after the last episode that aired when Max died was that other guy and then everything was good in the end. Well this takes place after that but I put in on New Years to start and it'll go into flashbacks and go forward too. Confusing I know but you'll get it.  
Please R&R thank you.  
  
  
January 1st, 2002  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Today is the first day of the rest of my life……I broke up with Max. I told him I don't love him anymore, how such a lie escaped my lips, I still don't even know. No one can understand it. Maria is completely thrown off, she keeps saying we were the only thing stable, the only thing left that made sense. I know I've broken up with Max before…. With that whole "Tess" thing, I still can't even stand to look at her name. Thank God she's gone if she ever came back I know I'd go off on her.   
I know you're saying now that's not like you at all. Liz Parker go off on someone? Yea right, I'm sure. I don't know what it is. That day Max saved me, again. From crashing to a bone shattering death, when he sacrificed himself…. I was at the Crashdown all over again. It's like this vicious cycle that wont ever stop.   
Max saves me.   
I put everyone at risk of exposure.  
I bring my friends into danger.  
Someone dies.  
Someone's life falls to pieces.  
I get hurt.  
My friends get hurt.  
We apologize try to make it work but it doesn't then-  
The End.  
Then it starts all over again.  
I can't handle that anymore. I don't want my heart broken once more. I don't want to hear that I've put someone at risk of exposure once more. I don't want the lies anymore. None of it! I'm done.   
  
But I do still love Max and that's what's killing me.   
  
Those freaky things that were going on with me have stopped. But this time I can feel something brewing, something that is going to be really bad. Worst than anything else. I can feel it.   
So where did that leave me? It left me at the beginning only so I could find another end. When was it going to stop? Then I stopped and I realized, stop it where it began. And when you connect all the dots it began at Max. It began at the Crashdown, as Max healed me and became a part of me forever. It began when he stopped me from plummeting to my death. It began again, which means it will have to end.  
It'll end in pain and sorrow, and remorse. My heart can't handle it anymore, neither can my body. I am exhausted, completely wiped out. My grades have been suffering. I may never fulfill my childhood dreams of greatness. They were all wiped away in a single moment.  
Now I face the chance of forever living in Roswell, growing up here, getting married taking over the restaurant and dying here. And it would be all for nothing my dreams have been torn to shreds. Bits of tiny fragments laughing at me as they fall to the ground and people stepping on them, grinding them into dust. To be seen no more. To be forgotten.  
So I broke up with Max. I put on my hardest face, and turned my heart to stone. I kept bringing up times in my mind that would make me hate him.   
I saw:  
When I got arrested- but I did that out of love.   
Or when he tried to strangle me- but I remembered it wasn't truly him.  
Then there was when he came and told me to break up with him- but that was 20 years into the future.  
Finally I saw it and my heart froze and time ceased.   
Tess's face filled my mind. That mass of curls, those icy, heartless blue eyes. I saw Max's lips, telling me he had slept with her. My heart crying because I saved myself for him and he threw it all away. Then I heard his voice telling me that Tess was pregnant, with his child. That he had to leave, his son was going to die. My breath caught in my chest, my heart hardened and I was able to speak those forbidden words with ease.  
  
"I don't love you Max." My voice came out firm and sure of myself, when I felt as though I was going to throw up.   
  
"I don't believe it Liz." Max's eyes searched for mine, but I dared not to meet his own, then I knew I would fall in love with him all over again.   
  
"I'm sorry Max."   
  
"Don't say you're sorry, if you intend to kill me!" Max yells   
  
It was true I was killing him, and with him a part of me was dying too. My heart.   
  
I stood there shaking my head, willing myself not to cry. "I don't love you Max."   
  
I had said it again, each time it became more painful to say those words. Each time the knife in Max's heart twisted and cut into his heart killing each with each breath.   
  
Max's eyes died at the very moment I looked up. My eyes were stone, it was as though I was Medusa and I froze him on that very spot. It was then he knew I meant it. I lied to the only person I loved and succeeded in the ultimate feat. I killed him, on that spot. He was to never be the same again.   
He turned without a word, he didn't have to say anything for me to know what I had done to him. I knew he would never love again, and if he did it would be a lie, to himself and to her. Max would be alone for the rest of his life. And it was all my fault, I had finally created and end that would have no beginning.   
You can't see it but sitting next to me if a piece of paper, on it I wrote seven words. Seven words that if I were to give them to Max he would understand everything. He would come back to me and the world would make sense again. Seven words and it would be as if nothing had changed.   
I don't know if I want to go back, if I don't I'll never have Max. I will never love again. No one could have Max's place in my heart. But I'm scared, I know what will happen if I go back to him. I don't think I can handle it anymore. I want my future, to get into a great college have a family and a home- with Max. The chances of that- well they aren't good. I look down at the paper once more, seven worlds can bring me back to the life I knew. Seven words.  
I could call Maria for advice but she'd tell me to call him, so would Isabel, Kyle, Valenti, Jess, Michael at this point I think even my parents would tell me to go back to him. That is if they knew what was actually going on. They don't even know I broke up with him. They don't know much of anything lately, I don't know them either. That's another thing. Do I really want to grow up without knowing my parents?   
Too much for me to decide and I have to do it on my own. I'm completely alone for once. In perfect solitude and I hate it. I want Max back, but I don't know if I can do it. It's getting late, it's almost three in the morning, I can't believe I've been sitting here for so long. New Years sucked in case you were wondering, nothing could bring me out of this mood. I have a choice- ultimate happiness and love that comes with great risks and sacrifices, a life I want no more or living alone knowing my other half is doing the same.   
I really need some sleep, I need a new day, maybe some hope will come with it. I don't really think so, but if there isn't hope what is there? And in case you were wondering what those seven words were:  
  
I should have died that day.   
Liz  
  
  
To be continued, this was only an introduction. There will be actual interaction with all the other characters, including Max! 


	2. Illusions

Please R&R, this story takes place in Liz's point of view.  
  
I woke up early the next morning and I saw a picture frame of me and the gang shattered on the floor, I couldn't imagine why it was there so I ignored it and wandered into my bathroom and showered quickly, then I got dressed, grabbed my keys and left. Thank God I didn't have to work today.   
  
When I got out onto the street I didn't even know where to go. The last thing I wanted to hear was someone telling me to get back together with Max. I hesitated for a moment before stalking off down the street.   
  
"Liz….. hey, what are you doing here?" Kyle looks surprised   
  
"So have you heard?" I ask pushing past him and sitting down on the couch in his living room.  
  
Kyle was slightly taken back by the action, but said nothing and shut the door. "Uh heard what?" Kyle asks scratching his head  
  
"Kyle you're really bad at lying, so who was it Maria or Isabel?" I ask sitting back.   
  
"Yea, it was Isabel." Kyle sits down across from me.   
  
"What she mad?" I ask   
  
"You could say that, you really tore Max up. You're really killing him."   
  
I hold up my hand in protest "Spare me the details."   
  
Now Kyle looked shocked, maybe I had taken it one step too far. "This isn't like you." Kyle states  
  
"As opposed to me as in getting arrested and breaking laws, lying relentlessly and anything else over the past couple of years you'd like to add to that?" I raise my eyebrows, but Kyle was right. This wasn't me.   
  
"Hostility. That's not you, no matter what happened you were never outright hostile." Kyle looks at me expectantly   
  
"Well what do you want me to do? Crawl back to Max and take him back?" I exclaim standing up "I tore him apart remember?"   
  
"I'm sure you could still get him back." Kyle replies simply   
  
"I don't want to." I tell him, and my voice shook as I did. For the first time Kyle realized how upset I was about all of this.   
  
"Hey, why did you break up with him anyway?"   
  
"I didn't come here to talk about it you know." I sit back down.  
  
"If you really didn't you wouldn't have come to anyone's houses associated with well Max and well you know." Kyle waves his hand as though it were an explanation.   
  
"I know." I smile assuring him that. "I don't know why I broke up with him."   
  
"You can tell me, anyway I doubt anyone will believe anything short of temporary insanity when it comes to an explanation."   
  
"Then why will you believe what I say?" I ask him curiously  
  
"Cause as much as Max knows you, with all of his connections he has with you and all of his powers. I know you and I wouldn't have let whatever you fed him as a reason to go by." Kyle replies  
  
"I told him I didn't love him." I look down at my hands.  
  
"Ouch." Kyle winces "How'd you manage that one?"   
  
"I thought about Tess and when Max told he had slept with her and when he told me she was pregnant…." I trail off   
  
"Oh" Kyle understands now "So you basically turned your heart to stone and lied directly to his face."   
  
"That would be the sugarcoated version of it- yea."   
  
"So I know how you broke up with him, but I still don't know why."   
  
"Because I couldn't handle it anymore. All the pain and everything that came with it."   
  
"I know the feeling, but I thought your love was stronger than that."   
  
"Have you ever wondered, like what if Tess hadn't come here and Alex hadn't died or she hadn't gotten pregnant? Have you ever wondered that?"   
  
"I try not to, cause when I do I keep finding little instances where I could have changed the slightest thing and changed everything."   
  
"See that's exactly it." I sit up straighter "If not for one single moment in time, one time that's it. Do you know that none of this would have happened? I mean to the point that Max and Tess may have never even met each other-"  
  
"Or you and Max connect?" Kyle asks   
  
"Yes." I say excited he understood   
  
"What moment are we talking about exactly?" Kyle narrows his eyes  
  
I wasn't really prepared to answer that question so instead I sat back, trying to think quickly without giving myself away.   
  
"Liz, you don't mean……" Kyle trails off   
  
My eyes met his and I nodded slightly.   
  
"Liz, no matter what happened that day or any day after that you're not dying was no mistake."   
  
"Then what was it?"   
  
"Fate." Kyle answers simply "Think about it, had Max not saved you, you would have never found true love. Michael and Maria wouldn't have found each other. Isabel may have not even met Jesse. Think about how much good came from it?"   
  
"You're father got fired from being sheriff, I almost exposed all of them, I broke up with you, Alex is dead, people are dead. Max slept with Tess, got her pregnant and now his son is out there somewhere. Isabel almost died, not too long ago. I got sent to jail, my parents don't trust me, Max's parents don't trust him, and I don't know what the hell is going on with me and my new powers or whatever you want to call them. That's what came out of that day." I reply angrily   
  
"All right so maybe a lot of not so great things came out of it." Kyle says "But being completely honest, to know what true love is, to feel that much passion towards another person and know that, that is the person you were created to be with. Isn't that worth everything?"   
  
My eyes filled up with tears and I shook my head. "I used to think that." I got up and walked towards the door and paused with my hand on the handle. "I'll see you around." With that I opened the door and left. I wasn't going back there for a while.   
  
When I reached the sidewalk a surge ran through my body, I can't really explain what is was, I felt like I had just gotten a shock. A chill ran through my body immediately after. I felt dizzy and weakened as I tried to retain my composure as I walked down the street. A car pulling up next to me broke me out of my trance, this was all I needed someone else to lecture me.   
  
The window rolled down and I saw Jesse's face. "Want a ride?" He offered, no strings attached on that offer.   
  
I shrugged what the hell. "Thanks." I open the door and climb in.   
  
"You don't look so good." Jesse comments as I sit back "After he found out the truth about everyone, he's been more open with all of us, I guess he doesn't feel so much like an outsider anymore.   
  
"Thanks for the tip." I answer as he pulls away from the curb. "So what piece of advice or word of knowledge do you have to offer me?" I ask blatantly   
  
Jesse laughs "No, you're just getting a ride. I don't do the whole "Dear Abby" thing, but if you call up Isabel I'm sure she has a thing or two to say to you."   
  
"I can only imagine." I look out the window watching the streets of Roswell pass us by.   
  
"One question though?"   
  
"Go for it."   
  
"I thought you loved him."   
  
"That doesn't sound much like a question." I glance at him quickly his eyes were straight ahead on the road. "Yea I did."   
  
"Did or do?"   
  
"That's two questions. I still do."   
  
"Normally I would write that off as some girl thing, but now I know there's so much more depth in that, especially considering who we're dealing with."   
  
"Yea it can be really tough at times." I say as a blinding headache takes over me for a moment, my vision blurs and when it clears up we're already blocks away from when I last looked up.   
  
"Liz?" Jesse was stopped and he was looking at me worried. "Are you all right?"   
  
"Yea, I'm fine. I got to go, thanks for the ride." I open the door and climb out quickly. I was on Maria's street, I knew she wasn't working today so I decided to take a shot in the dark and see if she was home.   
  
She was.  
  
"Liz!" Maria gasps "Why are you here?"   
  
"I was passing by and I figured what the hell." I reply as she opens the door for me to get inside.   
  
"So you're not mad at me anymore?" Maria asks looking me over.   
  
"Why would I be? You're mad a me remember for breaking up with Max."   
  
Maria looks confused "Liz don't you remember what happened last night?"   
  
"Yea I broke up with Max, you followed me up to my room yelling at me about it….. then I sat down and wrote in my journal." I rub my head the headache was slowly subsiding.   
  
"Yea I yelled at you for breaking up with Max cause you lied to him, but then you went off about how you should have died and all this stuff and you were starting to scare me. And we got into a fight about that day at the Crashdown."   
  
"We did?" I was lost by now  
  
"Yea remember then Isabel came up and you started screaming for everyone to leave you alone. Then you got really pale and we thought you were going to pass out and Isabel said she was going to get Max and you threw something at her and it broke."   
  
"A picture frame?" I ask more to myself  
  
"I'm pretty sure that's what it was." Maria bites her lip "Liz you don't remember anything?"   
  
"I remember feeling really cold and I went up to my room and curled up on my chair with my comforter and wrote in my journal….that's it."   
  
"What about New Years?" Maria prods  
  
"There was the party at the diner, and I saw Max and I told him it was over, and you got mad at me and I got upset and ran up to my room." I stuck my hand in my jeans pocket and pulled out a scrap of paper.   
  
I should have died that day  
Liz  
  
I stared blankly at it, it was my handwriting, I couldn't remember why I wrote it. The reason was obvious enough it was true. This nagging feeling kept bugging me though, I couldn't figure out what I was missing.   
  
"Maria?"   
  
"What?"   
  
"When did I break up with Max?"   
  
"I guess about two or three days ago." Maria replies  
  
"Today's the first right?" I sit down on the couch  
  
"Yes." Maria sits down next to me "What is it?"   
  
"And I didn't break up with Max last night?"   
  
"No." Maria shakes her head.  
  
"Did I see him last night?"   
  
"He came into the diner to pick up Michael cause they were going out, that's it though." Maria looked thoroughly worried "Liz are you all right?"   
  
"I have to go." I stood up and left her house quickly and I began walking down the street quickly trying to sort out my thoughts. I knew I was completely losing it when I saw Alex talking to some guy a few houses down. "Alex?" I muttered to myself and started walking towards him…..  
  
  
To be continued….. please R&R thanks. 


	3. Forgotten Memories

Thanks for your reviews, here's the next chapter:  
  
  
"Alex?!" I cry aloud quickening my pace towards the two men. I reach them and they both turn around. Neither face was familiar. "I-I'm sorry, yea." I mutter and stumble off their lawn walking in the opposite direction. I turn into a lane between some buildings.   
  
"Liz." The voice was calm and serene "Sorry about that before."   
  
I turn slowly, I was not going to let my eyes deceive me again. Despite my efforts Alex stood their in front of me.   
  
"Alex?" I ask nervously  
  
"Miss me?" Alex smiles grandly- it was definitely Alex.   
  
"Alex?" I repeat and I stumble backwards, suddenly I felt a grip on my arm as Alex pulled me back to my feet.   
  
"Please don't faint, I don't have that much time."   
  
"But you're dead." I finally get out.  
  
Alex smiles again "I still am, think of me as an angel. I'm not here anymore but I'm here. Anyone that dies stay inside you."   
  
"So I'm seeing things then?"   
  
"Normally yea, but since we all got involved with aliens, I'm actually here- momentarily at least." Alex shrugs "I don't get it really either, but I'll take what I can get."   
  
"You don't have much time for what?" I ask faintly   
  
"What? Oh right, I died because-"  
  
"Alex don't" I hold up my hand "I know why you died."   
  
"I died" Alex continues "Because I'm human and human bodies can't handle alien-like forces. Tess kept pushing them on me and my body gave up and I died."   
  
"So what does that have to do with me?"   
  
"Something happened to you, we can't really figure out why but something's happened." Alex says slowly   
  
"We?"   
  
"Yea people up there" Alex points upwards "Liz you have to listen to me, it's affecting you quickly, it started slow but you don't have much time left."   
  
"Left? Alex what do you mean?"   
  
"It's affecting your memory, short term mainly. Your body is changing against it's will, you're getting jolts of electricity sent through you, dizzy spells, depression, feeling guilty, or angry. You've been feeling off lately right?"   
  
I had my hand in my pocket and remembered that piece of paper. I still couldn't remember why I wrote it. I pulled it out slowly.   
  
"You don't remember why you wrote that do you?" Alex asks   
  
"I don't have time left for what?" I repeat   
  
"Liz listen to me." Alex grabs my shoulders "You wrote that so you could give it to Max, you have to give it to Max."   
  
"Why?" I ask dazed  
  
"You have to give it to him so you two can get back together and so he can help you."   
  
Anger surged through me "I don't want to get back with Max."   
  
"Liz you're confused, you're getting mixed signals. Don't you understand, you're good with science." Alex goes on "The electric jolts that keep going through you are affecting your brain sending out waves at the wrong times, it's screwing you up. Liz if it doesn't stop it's going to keep screwing with your brain until you have almost nothing left there. There's still time though."   
  
"Alex." I say rather loudly "What don't I have much time left for?" I demand "And if it's so important for me to get help from Max, why aren't you talking to Max?" I demand "Or anyone else."   
  
"I can come to you because you're close." Alex says softly and his figure starts to fade slightly   
  
"Where are you going?" I cry out "What don't I-"  
  
Alex's eyes looked like they had tears in them, he looked so sad "You're dying Liz, you hear me? You're dying. If you don't get help soon you're going to die."   
  
"What?!" I gasp and I stumble again losing my footing   
  
"Doctors can't help you, you need Max." Alex says as he slowly fades away  
  
"Alex don't go!" I cry, tears running down my face "Alex!"   
  
Alex started to say something but it got swept up in the wind the last word I could recognize anywhere though "Max"   
  
Another chill ran through my body that made me feel like my blood went cold. My hands were shaking and my knees buckled. I leaned against the wall for support when I felt an electric current tear through me, it seared through my body, cutting into me and when it finished everything went black.   
  
I woke up a few minutes later and I struggled to stand up. I wavered for a moment then I caught my balance and walked back onto the sidewalk. I blinked, it was dusk. A chill was in the air, and a slight haze was starting to set in. I checked my watch it was 5:45.   
  
I tried to calculate quickly I was out but I couldn't think straight, I gave up and just told myself it was a long time.   
  
I started walking down the block trying to remember why I passed out. Probably just another dizzy spell I hadn't eaten in a long time. I kept walking mumbling to myself, probably looking insane to all spectators.   
  
I walked into the Crashdown and walked into the back and flopped down on the couch. I should go and find my parents so they wouldn't worry about me since I hadn't called them for so long.   
  
The door swung open and Michael walked in. "Hey" He nodded to me, just like he would any other day.   
  
I looked at him strangely, I had a feeling he was mad at me…. Or was that Isabel. No, it was Isabel, Michael had just shrugged his shoulders and claimed- it happens. Why is Isabel mad at me though? I scrunched my eyebrows in thought.   
  
"Max." I whisper softly that's right, I broke up with Max. Right because of everything that happened and- I stopped my thought I didn't want to go there again, not now. I realized Michael was looking at me, almost looking worried. "Michael, is my dad in the kitchen? I wanted to tell him I'm home since I forgot to call."   
  
Now I was sure of it Michael definitely looked worried. "Liz, you're parents are on vacation…..remember?" Seeing I didn't he went on. "They left yesterday morning, they'll be back in two weeks."   
  
Where did they go?" I ask   
  
Michael's eyes widened "You don't know? Uh I think you or Maria said something about a cruise or the Caribbean, something like that."   
  
I got up and checked the calendar sure enough my mom had marked down cruise on yesterday's date with a line going through the next two weeks.   
  
"Who's in charge of the restaurant?" I ask hoping it wasn't me.   
  
"I don't know, one of the girls that's always here. The one that helps your dad with the bookkeeping." Michael shrugs  
  
"Was I supposed to work today?"   
  
"No your parents gave you the two weeks off, they said you deserved a break and that you could catch up on your studying." Michael replies "Liz are you all right?"   
  
"No." I shake my head confused  
  
"What's wrong then?" Michael asks, he didn't like this at all.   
  
I knew something was wrong I couldn't remember what though. I close my eyes trying to remember today, I saw Kyle, yea then Jesse gave me a ride….. then I talked to Isabel? No Maria…….. I jump up.   
  
"Alex!" I exclaim, then I started to get dizzy, my body swayed and I felt around for the couch so I could sit down.   
  
"Liz…..Liz!" Michael tries to get my attention but his voice was getting far away. Michael looks around, the cook that was on shift wasn't looking so Michael picks me up and carries me up to my room then lays me on my bed. "Liz."   
  
My eyes open wide and I gasp sitting up. "Alex." I cry out.   
  
"What about Alex?" Michael asks   
  
I blink and focus on Michael "Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be working?"   
  
"I just finished my shift." Michael explains as I get up off my bed. "You should sit down."   
  
  
"I saw Alex today." I tell him softly picking up a piece of glass. I saw the picture frame on the floor. "Oh" I say softly "It's broken."   
  
"Isabel said you threw it at her." Michael informs me.   
  
"Yesterday?" I ask "Yea, I got mad yesterday yea Maria told me that. She thought I was mad at her, but I thought she was mad at me. Now neither of us are mad." I smile and straighten up "I need a new picture frame. I think I have one in my drawer."   
  
"Liz, why did you say you saw Alex today?" Michael asks as I open a drawer.  
  
"Alex?" I move some things around "Maybe this one." I open a new drawer "What about Alex?"   
  
"You saw him today?"   
  
"Oh yea!" My eyes light up "Right I was talking to Alex."   
  
"What happened?" Michael asks   
  
"With what? I need some light." I reach for the lamp but as soon as I got close I got shocked a short blue-white light appeared then disappeared quick as it came it was gone. "Whoa, talk about static." I say rubbing my hand, it was numb. "Hey." I turn around smiling "My hands numb."   
  
Michael stands up and grabs my hand and receives a shock, he actually stumbled back a little bit. "What the hell was that?" He looks at me.   
  
"Alex! I was talking to Alex today, he told me to do something. Something before it was too late." I tell Michael wide eyed, thoughts flooding my mind.   
  
"Liz, Alex is dead." Michael looks for my phone and starts dialing not taking his eyes off of me.   
  
"What?!" I exclaim turning around dropping the broken picture frame.   
  
"Maria? It's Michael get to Liz's quick and call Isabel and Max too. And hurry, Liz is in trouble." Michael says quickly then hangs up. "Liz."   
  
"He's dead." I sit down in my chair. "How?" I sit there thinking.   
  
"Max is on his way with Maria and Isabel." Michael tells me, but I don't really hear him. A few minutes later I hear some footsteps pounding up the stairs.   
  
The door opens and Maria rushes in. Suddenly my eyes open wide. "Tess." I mutter so softly no one hears. I stand up and brush Maria off as she tries to get to me. Isabel comes in followed by Max. My eyes were blazing as I met Max's gaze. "Where is she?" I demand  
  
"Who?" Maria asks glancing at Michael "What's wrong with her?"   
  
"I don't know she's been acting really weird since I saw her." Michael replies  
  
"How?" Isabel asks   
  
"She doesn't remember anything, she's talking to herself most of the time and she said she was talking to Alex today."   
  
The color drained out of Isabel's face as she tries to keep her composure.   
  
"Where is she?" I ask moving towards the door.   
  
Maria blocks my way "Who?"   
  
"Tess, she's killed Alex." I tell them  
  
"Liz!" Maria grabs me and I meet her eyes. I come back into reality.  
  
"Tess is gone, it's too late." I say softly as things start to get black and the sounds fade from the room.   
  
  
More to come, please R&R 


	4. Questions

Here's the next one up:   
  
  
  
"Liz!" Maria cries out as I fall to the floor, but I don't hit it something breaks my fall instead.   
  
All of their voices sound fuzzy, like a television with really bad reception.   
  
"Max do something!" Isabel cries out to him as he lays me on my bed. I don't know why she cared so much, she was mad at me…..right?  
  
"I can't do anything if I don't know what's wrong with her." I hear Max explain in a strained voice……. He sounded hurt, like he was in a great deal of pain.   
  
I force myself to open my eyes, I had to tell somebody something. I know I did. "Max?" I open my eyes, he was sitting on the edge of my bed. Maria was next to me holding my hand. Michael and Isabel were at the foot of my bed looking confused and worried.   
  
Max doesn't say anything, he just looks at me with hurt eyes.   
  
I sit up "You're hurt!" I exclaim "What happened? Did you fall, or what? What happened?" I ask innocently   
  
Max look's taken back, but says nothing and gets up. He stands up and shoves one hand into his pocket uncomfortable.   
  
"Maria why do you look so freaked out? I only passed out cause I haven't eaten." I explain smiling.   
  
Maria bites her lip, I've seen her do that before, I'm not sure why though. "I'll go get you something from the kitchen."   
  
"Wait." I call after her and Maria stops and turns "The phone." I tell her   
  
"What about it?" Isabel asks   
  
"The-" I'm interrupted by the phone ringing.  
  
"Maria you pick it up." Michael says quietly   
  
"Hello?" Maria answers the phone. "Oh hi, how's your vacation? Yea Liz is right here….." Maria hands me the phone.   
  
"Hello?" I ask into the phone "Hi mom, how's the…..the….." I shut my eyes in thought. "How was your New Years?" I change the question. "Mine was great, the party went fine, yea she took care of everything….. yea I stayed home today and studied…..yup…all right see you soon." I hang up and I'm met with four pairs of eyes boring into my head. "What?" I ask looking at them  
  
"Liz" Isabel takes a step closer to me "Michael said that you said something about Alex."   
  
A smile broke across my face "Yea, Alex I saw him today. In, in somewhere I forget."   
  
"What did Alex say?" Isabel asks   
  
"Max why are you so quiet?" I ask him noticing he's sitting off to the side "That's not like you, or is that you Michael?" I turn to Michael "Or-" I stop "You never answered me Max."   
  
"About what?" Max finally says something to me  
  
"About you're being hurt…….. the paper!" I exclaim "Alex. I know what happened! I remember" I suddenly   
  
"What?" Maria asks when I don't go on.   
  
A horrifying feeling courses through me and I must look terrified, I didn't feel right. "He said to give this to Max." My hand clutched around the small piece of paper. "And….." I trail off and I see Alex's reflection in the glass of the window.   
  
"Liz did you forget?" Maria asks frantically   
  
My eyes met hers "Alex said to give this to Max, because he is the only one who can help me." I tell her softly   
  
Max looks up at me at the sound of his name once again. My eyes locks onto Max's for a split second. Isabel walks over to me and pries the paper out of my hands "Oh." She says softly to herself and Michael reads the slip. Maria looks over and reads it too and gasps, clasping her hand over her mouth "Liz!" She exclaims   
  
"Max, read this." Isabel calls him over. Max slowly gets up and reads the paper. His eyes soften when he reads it and he looks at me, he takes a step towards me but I back off and glance into the mirror. My face has become ashen in color.   
  
"I remember!" I cry out "I remember what Alex told me" This had to be fast.  
  
"Liz, are you sure you remember right? I mean you didn't even remember when you broke up with Max and-"  
  
"What?!" I exclaim cutting her off "What the hell are you talking about?"   
  
Max's eyes let me know I was missing something, now I knew why he was hurt. "Max" I say softly and I move for him "I broke up with you?" I feel so lost, things start to fade again.   
  
"Liz, that's not important right now." Max's voice is calm "You have to tell us what Alex told you."   
  
"Max what if it's in her head, I mean look at her." Michael says to him in a hushed voice  
  
"No, it's real." Isabel confirms "I can feel it."   
  
"Alex?" I ask faintly backing away  
  
"Liz, why did you write this?" Max asks me urgently now  
  
"Because if I had died…….none of this would have happened. None of it!" I tell them my voice rising "It wasn't fate" I shout looking up "If it was fate then why now?" I shout louder  
  
"Liz, stop it!" Maria exclaims "Max stop her."   
  
"Liz." Max grabs my arm "Liz look at me."   
  
I look at Max eye to eye "He said it was fate, that's why I didn't die that day. That everything that happened was worth it because I found true love."   
  
"Who said that Alex?" Max asks  
  
"No." I shake my head "Alex told me to talk to you, that you're the only one that can help me."   
  
"How did you see Alex?" Max asks trying to retain my attention  
  
"Because he said I was close and he didn't want it to happen……if something is fate then it will happen no matter what." I change the subject.  
  
"Liz." Isabel grabs my arm and she gets a shock sending her stumbling back.   
  
"It's real." I moan "I can feel it now."   
  
"Liz." Max doesn't touch me but I look at him directly   
  
"Max, I'm dying." I tell him softly "Alex could talk to me cause I'm dying just like he did. I'm going to die and if I had died that day none of this would have happened! Why didn't you let me die?" I ask him starting to cry "You should have let me die. Now I have to die now and it's going to be worse than it would have the first time around!" I drop to my knees tears streaming down my face. I felt Max hovering above me not knowing what to do. I felt everyone else in the room just staring at me.   
  
Suddenly I felt that surge starting up, I prepared myself for what would happen, instead this time I felt something new. This time it hurt like nothing has ever hurt before, like I was getting shot over and over and it was hitting me everywhere. The only thing I know right now is pain, the only thought running through my mind was that I hoped Alex didn't go though this much pain when he died…..finally I stopped resisting the pain and let go, it happened so fast I collapsed before anyone could reach me.   
  
********************  
  
Max's point of view  
  
Liz collapsed onto the floor, I didn't even realize anything had happened she was kneeling below me crying then she just crashed down. She was limp and freezing, a cold sweat covered her body. She wasn't dead, but she wasn't far from it either. I couldn't even react, I didn't understand what was happening. Liz breaks up with me for no reason, then I find out she's dying. This is one of those times I wished I wasn't the leader because I had no idea what to do.  
  
"Get her on the bed!" Maria cries out "Hurry!"   
  
I quickly react, I could do this. I pick her up with ease and lay her on her bed, she felt light. Lighter then I knew she was. Almost like she wasn't in there anymore, I shook away that thought, I wasn't going to lose her.  
  
Immediately I laid my hands on Liz, trying to focus my energy on her. I felt something I don't know what, but I knew it was good. I also knew it wasn't enough.  
  
"Look" Isabel says softly "She looks a little better."   
  
"It's not enough." I tell her breathlessly "This is only temporary."   
  
"Maybe I can dreamwalk." Isabel offers "It might work."   
  
I hesitated if Liz was really this close to dying maybe this wasn't a good idea.   
  
"Max, something isn't right. Something happened to her that made her like this." Isabel tells me  
  
"I know."   
  
"Something that may be the reason she broke up with you." Isabel continues  
  
"I- I just don't know if it's a good idea."   
  
"We'll be right here Max, and Isabel's right Liz might have not even realized she broke up with you." Michael says  
  
"Yea." Maria chimes in "She didn't even remember what happened yesterday."   
  
"You really thing it's a good idea?" I ask Isabel  
  
"It may be out only chance." She replies.  
  
I couldn't help but to think to myself that maybe she was doing it partly for herself, to see if Alex was around in Liz's mind.   
  
"All right." I reply looking down at Liz. "Do it."   
  
"I'll go with her, into the spare bedroom." Michael gets up and follows Isabel out.   
  
"What should I-" Maria asks nervously   
  
I give her a half smile trying to console her "Stay here with Liz." I tell her.   
  
Maria smiles quickly and sits down in Liz's chair and watches us intently. She shifts and frowns pulling something out of the side of the chair. I turned away and focused my attention on Liz. Michael's voice carried through the hall, he was telling me Isabel was going to start.  
  
I sat there silently watching Liz, wishing I knew what was going on. I couldn't help her, not yet. I promised myself and her that I would figure out how to help her. I was not going to let her die.  
  
About fifteen minutes later I heard footsteps, Isabel walks into the room with Michael's help. This wasn't a good sign.   
  
"What is it?" I stand up but don't go far.   
  
"She's dying she didn't imagine that." Isabel says taking a seat  
  
"What did you see?" I ask   
  
"Whatever happened to her with those powers, her body can't handle it anymore. It's sending electric currents to her brain giving it mixed signals, causing her to get angry or upset. She can't remember things because of the currents. It's eating away at her, she needs help fast." Isabel says wearily brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes  
  
"How did you see all of that?" I ask surprised  
  
"She has this scene a conversation between her and- and Alex running through her mind like a movie over and over. Max is makes sense that's how Alex died he couldn't handle what Tess did to him."   
  
I cringe at the sound of Tess's name, but Isabel was right. If this is true we needed to help Liz now.  
  
"Max what are we going to do?" Michael asks   
  
"I don't know." I reply honestly   
  
"No offense Max, but we need to think of something quick too many people have died."   
  
"I know, I'm not going to let her die." I promise Michael  
  
I jump slightly at the sound of Maria slamming the book shut she was reading. Why was she reading now? I wonder.   
  
Maria clears her throat "Uh, do you think that you guys can handle the electric stuff or currents I mean?" She asks carefully   
  
"I don't see why not, especially if they're alien." Michael replies not leaving Isabel's side, making sure she didn't pass out or anything.   
  
"So do you think there's a way to transfer them to one of you? And if it was possible, would it be enough to save Liz?"   
  
I didn't answer, Michael didn't answer, neither did Isabel. The room fell silent except for Liz's ragged breathing. The question weighed heavy on all of our minds.  
  
  
More to come please R&R thank you. 


	5. Revival

Please R&R thank you.  
  
  
Maria's point of view  
  
There I said it. I said what I was thinking ever since Liz said she was dying. I knew it was alien what else could it be? And if it was alien that means that Isabel, Max or Michael could handle it. I've seen then almost die at one point or another, now they were all standing in front of me. Not a hair on their heads out of place- so to speak. Yet Liz is lying on her bed, dying in front of us, I'm not alien I don't have any special connections or anything, but believe if your best friend is dying you can feel that.  
  
"Well?" I ask slightly irritated, why wasn't anyone saying anything?  
  
Max has this look on his face like the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders, I felt bad for him. But I had to keep focus and remember Liz, she needed our help.   
  
I open my mouth to speak up again when Max speaks up.  
  
"It would work, it's probably our only chance, that's why Alex told Liz to get me to help."   
  
"How are we going to do it?" Isabel asks wearily, the dreamwalk must have taken a lot out of her.   
  
"I'll heal her, take on whatever it is, then hopefully it will pass." Max says firmly  
  
"That's how you got killed not to long ago." I mutter, but Max heard me.   
  
"That was natural, this is alien." He tells me quietly  
  
"You can't Max, if something goes wrong none of us can do anything." Michael informs him   
  
"So what are you suggesting?" I ask placing on my hips.  
  
"I'm suggesting Max do what he said, but instead transfer it to me, so if something happens Max can help me." Michael says in a way there was no arguing with him.   
  
"Are you sure?" Max asks even though he knows Michael is.   
  
"Yes." Michael sits down next to Liz   
  
"Is?" Max turns to Isabel  
  
"I'll be right here if you need anything." She promises   
  
"Wait what should I do?" I ask nervously   
  
"Get Liz out of the way as soon as I do it" Max tells me not looking at me "Don't let her near us no matter what happens."   
  
"All right." I reply preparing myself for whatever happened.   
  
"Ready?" Max asks Michael  
  
"It's now or never, she's not going to get any better." Michael replies   
  
Max doesn't answer instead he places his hands on Liz, a cold wind blows through the room even though the windows were closed. I knew what Max was doing he wasn't healing Liz, this time he was just taking it from her. This could kill him, we didn't know what it was. Maybe I should stop them or maybe- before I could finish that thought Liz gasps and her eyes open wide. Max ignored her, I don't even think he saw her, instead Max leans over Michael and Michael closes his eyes.  
  
I didn't even think, I just grab Liz and pull her out of the room into the guest room. "Maria?" She asks me faintly "Max?!" She cries out hoarsely she knows what happened, then she collapsed onto the bed.   
  
*****************  
  
Michael's point of view  
  
  
Liz gasps, I knew she was all right she had done that before but this time it was different, mainly because Max's face has taken on that ashen color and he looked lost. He must have gathered his thoughts quickly because next thing I knew Maria pulls Liz out of the room and Max places his hands on me. I felt pain shooting through me. I hope Liz hadn't felt this. Electric currents shot through me, coursing through my body. It was horrible but I knew I could fight it, Liz had forgotten things, and sounded completely insane, I was still in my mind. But maybe not for long, I close my eyes and concentrate. I could faintly hear Max and Isabel talking.  
  
"Did you do it?" Isabel asks Max   
  
"Yea." Max nods  
  
"So are you going to heal him?"   
  
Give me a second Max, I thought  
  
"Not yet, give him a chance." Max replies  
  
Good boy Max, just a little bit of time.   
  
"Not too long Max, we can't lose Michael." Isabel's voice wavers slightly, I heard a phone ring and Isabel answers it. From the way she was talking I could tell it was Jesse, from what I could hear it sounded like he was coming over.   
  
I felt the currents weakening- only slightly. The pain subsided a little, I hoped that it meant I was doing something right.   
  
"Max now?" Isabel asks   
  
"Wait." Max's voice was tense  
  
"Max it's been five minutes." Isabel tells him  
  
Five minutes? How the hell did that go by so fast? I wonder.   
  
"Isabel!" Jesse was here  
  
"I'm all right." Isabel replies   
  
"What happened?" Jesse asks   
  
"I'll tell you later, go check on Liz." Isabel says "Max please."   
  
Max didn't reply, I know what that means. It means he is preparing himself for what he is about to do.   
  
A virus I thought, that's what this is. It's an alien strain of a virus. This has happened to me before and I almost died. I remember that time, hopefully I had grown some immunities towards it.   
  
Luckily I did, with Max's help I woke up. I was sweating and shaking but it was gone. I checked the clock it was thirty minutes later than when I last saw the clock. It seemed so fast though.  
  
"Michael?" Isabel asks getting closer to me  
  
"I'm all right." I smile reassuringly   
  
"It was a virus." Max sits down on Liz's chair tired  
  
"I know." I reply "I remembered the feeling."   
  
"Must have some sort of immunity towards it then" Max says without cracking a smile.   
  
"So it's gone then?" Isabel asks   
  
"Yea, it's gone." I tell her  
  
"Good." She stands up "I'll be right back." She gets up and leaves.   
  
*********************  
  
Liz's point of view  
  
I had woken up with a start and Maria had pulled me out of my room and into a guest room. It took me a moment to realize what happened. I had been sinking away, I was so close I even saw Alex again but he didn't look happy to see me. I knew it was too late. Then Alex disappeared and I was alone in the darkness. It felt like I was getting sucked backwards and like I was being pulled to the surface.   
  
I had only walked a few steps when I knew what Max had done, he saved me again. I couldn't breathe I was overwhelmed, I passed out.   
  
Now I come around again, I know I'm not in my own bed and I know Maria is watching me intently. I open my eyes but Maria isn't alone Jesse is standing beside her, when did he get here?   
  
"Liz? Are you all right?" Maria asks softly smoothing down my hair.  
  
"No." I reply a faraway look in my eyes "Why did you let them do it?"   
  
"We didn't have a choice. You were going to die."   
  
"I did die!" I reply "I was right there, I saw him, I was there."   
  
"Saw who? Alex?" Maria asks   
  
"Yes." I nod I couldn't even sit up this time I was so worn out. I felt like I had just run a marathon three or four times.   
  
Isabel runs into the room and goes straight to Jesse, she sees me and half smiles. "Max and Michael are both all right, tired but all right." She assures me  
  
I don't answer, I don't feel like talking to anyone anymore. "I want to go to my room." I finally tell them  
  
Michael just walks in then and hears me. "I'll bring you" He offers, I'm not sure what has gotten into him today, he seems like a different person. All protective and strong, like Max almost. Like they had a role reversal.   
  
"I can stand" I tell him struggling to my feet. Michael doesn't say anything and just helps me stumble to my room, I walk slowly over to my bed and grab my comforter and go outside onto the balcony. I could see out of the corner of my eye Maria about to protest but Michael stops her.   
  
I take a seat on one of the chairs and wrap the comforter around me, and bury my face into my knees.   
  
I couldn't figure it out, was I supposed to die or not? Was I just going to keep avoiding death like this or what? I couldn't keep running from something I can't see, and I don't want to spend my life running from death. I don't want Max to have to keep coming to my rescue and saving me.   
  
I hear voices drifting in from my bedroom, Isabel and Jesse were leaving, reluctantly at that but Jesse was insisting that Isabel get some rest, she didn't look so great.   
  
Maria was telling Michael she was spending the night, that she wasn't going to leave me. Michael and Max both said they were going to stick around. Well Michael said so for both of them.   
  
A while later I was still sitting on the chair, the night was slowly lifting and an orange/pink color was starting to appear in the sky. It was almost dawn.  
  
I hear someone come outside. I sigh, I don't want to talk to Maria right now. "Not now Maria." I tell her.   
  
"It's me."   
  
I close my eyes and lower my head. When I open my eyes Max was standing in front of me. "We need to talk." He says quietly   
  
I nod and make room for him to sit. He sits down gingerly on the end of the chair and I watch closely. It didn't look like he had slept at all.   
  
********************  
  
Max's point of view  
  
I stepped outside, Liz must have thought I was Maria because she said that she didn't want to talk to Maria, when I said it was me she had just lowered her head. When I said we needed to talk she just made room for me on the chair.   
  
I sit down carefully, so I don't jostle her. Liz still looks so frail, like a porcelain doll. "I read your diary, Maria showed it to me." I try to phrase it carefully, she just nods like she knew I did or would eventually.   
  
"I didn't know you felt that way." I tell her, I feel so guilty, but if I had the chance I would do it all over again.  
  
"I didn't really know I did either." Liz says softly "Not until I had left. I had a lot of time to think."   
  
"Do you really think you should have died?" I ask   
  
Her eyes filled with tears "So many horrible things have come out of it."   
  
"Liz." She looks directly into my eyes and it takes me off guard "I would do it all over again."   
  
"You already have, time after time." She replies "I don't know how much longer I can avoid it though."   
  
"Avoid what?"   
  
"Death."   
  
Death? What was she talking about?   
  
She continues "Kyle said it was fate that you saved me that because of it we found out true love. The one person you know you'll spend forever with."   
  
I smile I can't help it, she really does feel the same about me. "So what does that have to do with death?"   
  
"Because I was supposed to die that day and I avoided it, like I have so many times. How much longer can I avoid death?"   
  
"It's my fault I keep putting you in these bad positions. I shouldn't have gotten you involved. I should have never told you" I shake my head  
  
"I'm glad you did, I wouldn't have wanted that any other way."   
  
"Just like I wouldn't have wanted it any other way when I saved you no matter how many times." I tell her  
  
She closes her eyes, I can see how much she is hurting. I don't know what to do.   
  
  
  
Liz's point of view  
  
"Max?" I ask he knows now. My deepest fears my darkest thoughts. Most important he knows I love him.   
  
"I shouldn't have gotten you involved in searching for my son, I may have ruined your future!" He says quickly   
  
"Max." I stop him "As long as I'm with you, nothing is wrong. I was in a moment of despair, I didn't know what was going on with me I couldn't handle things. I couldn't remember anything."   
  
"So you think that things could work?" He asks hopefully   
  
I pause, it was now or never "Yea, I think we can make it work."   
  
"Do you want to make it work? Liz it's not fate for you to die, think about how many times all of us have escaped death."   
  
He was right, all of us had our encounters with death. Some of us had gotten close, too close. We couldn't just fall apart, we needed each other.   
  
I look at him, I saw right into his soul I saw my life in his eyes. This was right, Max was right.   
  
"I love you." I whisper my eyes filling up with tears "And I'm sorry for everything."   
  
Max's eyes seemed to dance as he leaned over and kissed me. It was like we were kissing for the first time ever, it was magical.   
  
"I love you Liz, more than life." He whispers in my ear. "We can get through anything together."   
  
I smile, he was right, Alex was right and Kyle and everyone else was right. It was fate for me to be with Max. I draw in my breath quickly as I look behind Max. "Look."   
  
Max turns and he sees the sky in the distance looks as though it is on fire. A blazing red color stained the sky, a color of fiery love. It was a sign, it signified mine and Max's love.   
  
"Thank you." I whisper to Alex and I could feel him looking down on us. He was right he never leaves us.   
  
  
The End   
  
Please R&R 


End file.
